“Taketh one for thou team, honorable Dio. Please allow thy fellow wielders of rods to bathe in the windfall thou has been bequeathed by the heavenly order of thots.” -Some Unsung Hero, Friend of Dio, Friend of Mankind, A Thirsty Bro Perhaps my life would have turned out differently if it was not for the moron who spouted those nonsensical lines. If I could go back in time and shoot that friend, I probably would if I knew the rabbit hole I’d eventually tumble into. These days I live my everyday life fearful of my five psychotic exes. What’s even worse, perhaps I inadvertently added a sixth to my list without realizing it. My past love life can only be described as a complete and utter mess and I can only blame that idiot friend of mine who was the spark of it all. I started with a woman with patricide on her hands. I then landed a contracted killer that used me to eliminate her target. The next was an infamous stalker who literally stalked all her love interests until they committed suicide. A doctor who nursed me back to health, who I later found out ran a business on the dark web that coordinated illegal human experimentation and clinical trials at the request of her clientele around the world. Then lastly, to top them all, the queen of the underworld who dabbled in billion or even trillion dollar industries revolving around selling illegal drugs, organ trafficking, and human trafficking.